Why I say “F$@k It!” At least once A Day!

Scenario: I buy some el-cheapo bubbles from the Dollar store. I open them outside and start blowing them with Livia. She’s chasing them, saying “Bubble!!!” popping them and running
back for more. All is well. Then SHE wants to be in charge of the bottle and the wand. I give her a turn, and half of the bubble solution is on the floor within 0.5 seconds. There isn’t much to do at the beach house so I kind of want to stretch playing with bubbles for 10 more minutes, and I decide that maybe it’s best for me to hold the bubbles and blow them. However, Livia has her heart set on being in charge of the bubbles. The 0.001% of me that wants to micro-manage starts over-thinking. “She will pour all the bubbles out, probably on herself, it’s breezy so I’ll have to change her (which will make her mad), and then we will be at square one as far as what to do next”. Then, I just smile and say (not out loud) “F@$k it!” , give her the bubbles, watch her dump them out and swish her hands through it, take off her wet clothes and let her play in her diaper for a little. She has a blast.

Scenario 2: We go on a morning walk in the stroller. I plan on it just being a short little walk to the pier and back. We get to the pier and stop to look at the sound. There is a tiny sandy area that looks like a mini beach. The water is shallow and clear. I say “Let’s come here tomorrow, Livia. You can come in your bathing suit and swim!” Then I look at her, and for some reason I just feel bad. I want to let her out, but I over-think “If I thought she’d get in the water, she should’ve just worn a onesie. She’s got her pants on! Won’t she be cold on the walk back? Should I take her leggings off? Where will I even put them?!” I come to my senses, smile, say “F@$k it!” Roll up the leggings, roll up her sweater sleeves, take off our shoes and walk in. Yeah, she got her leggings soaked, and we walked back wet. But when she was in the water, she brought her pine cone with her and “washed” it! She was learning something and having spontaneous fun. This may have never happened if we would’ve just turned around and walked home.

It’s easy to micro-manage situations sometimes, especially if there’s a convenience factor. I don’t want or mean for it to happen often, but sometimes it does and I don’t realize it til later. I committed to staying home with Livia, and I owe it to her to let her be a toddler and do toddler things.

So I’ve committed to saying “F@$k it!” (and embracing whatever chaos comes) a couple of times every day. A couple of times doesn’t sound like a lot, but keep in mind this means giving my 15 month old complete control of a “big” choice, without “helping” making any suggestions or offering any alternativesunless it’s a big safety hazard obviously-I wouldn’t let her ingest something dangerous to teach cause and effect). There are plenty of times she makes independent choices throughout the day, but there’s always a little guidance or redirection involved, even when it isn’t needed. It’s usually to prevent something trivial like making a spontaneous mess (we have plenty of “planned” messy time).
I think it will be a great experience to see her doing EXACTLY what she wants to do and learning from it. A mess can only get so big, clothes can be washed, so what is there to be afraid of? I think we will both learn from it.
So,”f$@k it”!